i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You were trust falling into bushes
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
