is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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