Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
