what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
