ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize