do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
