At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
