Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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