I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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