they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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