i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
