Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's like heaven, but drunker
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
