we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
