Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
