During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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