oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
