summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
