I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
