SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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