i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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