I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
