I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
