forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
