idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
