you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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