Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
