she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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