Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
