too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
