We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
