My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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