I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
