Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
