Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
NoShamevember. You game?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize