clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
