Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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