i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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