it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
