Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
