Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
