How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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