chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
