This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
