Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
