The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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