that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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