it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
