You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
