He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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