i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
