Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
