Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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