im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I didn't notice because vodka
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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