I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize