i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Two words: blizzard sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize