On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
