she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
