I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
