actually, I'm a sock model
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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