fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
