just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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