shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
