if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
