paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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