did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
